Tuesday

Fear Itself #7 & Captain America #7.1

I Will Have My Thunder God without the Tanarus Sauce, Please...or,
Marvel Sez:  We Can Do a Bunch of #1's Too!

POSSIBLE SPOILERS!!!

Good golly gracious!  Where to begin?  OK, first up....POSSIBLE SPOILERS!


Fear Itself (2011) #7
  by Matt Fraction, Stuart Immonen, Wade Von Grawbadger with Vines, Laura Martin with Ponsor and Milla, Chris Eliopoulos, Lauren Sankovitch, Tom Brevoort, Axel Alonso, Joe Quesada, Dan Buckley, Alan Fine.......

This is the ending of Marvel's latest "Crisis"/Event of the year, Fear Itself.  The storyline was this....The Red Skull, a long time ago, found a hammer....Cue If I Had a Hammer going off in your head....The Red Skull's daughter, Sin, finds the hammer and when she touches it, she can lift it.  She becomes Skaadi, the emissary of the Serpent, who it turns out is Odin's brother and rightful ruler of Asgard (according to him).  The Serpent sends out other Hammers that infect The Hulk, the Thing, Absorbing Man, Attuma, Titania, The Grey Gargoyle, and Juggernaut.  These folks become the army of Fear, and go around wreaking havoc.  As humans give in to fear, the Serpent grows more powerful.  A prophecy says that the Serpent can be killed by Thor, but Thor will die as a result.  To prevent this, Odin decides he is going to go back to "Asgard Space" instead of Oklahoma where Thor had recreated Asgard, and destroy the Earth, razing it and the armies of the Serpent.  Thor protests and stays on Earth as the Avengers past and present throw down with fear. 

Some good things.  Bucky Captain America dies!  Yay!  Joy!  Steve Rogers returns as Captain America, the only one who ever mattered!  But, that is about it, and even that gets ruined.

By issue 7, everything has come to a head.  Cap is mourning Bucky and his shield, which was destroyed in issue 6 (again!).  Cap now is leading the remaining heroes and humanity in a last stand against the Serpent, armed with machine guns!  Iron Man has sacrificed his sobriety to Odin in exchange for making some kickass Asgardian weapons for Earth's heroes, which morphs them into some awesome looks--Wolverine's especially!  Though, I do like Ms. Marvel and her big a$$ hammer.  Odin gives Thor the armor of Odin and the OdinSword, to go and face the Serpent. 

Predictably, Thor slays the Serpent....and dies after taking nine steps.  Before his death, Thor hurls his hammer Mjiolnir to Earth, where Captain America picks it up and leads the heroes to victory.  Thor is put on a funeral pyre.  Odin exiles himself, the evil hammers, and the body of his brother to Asgard Space and returns the remaining asgardians to Earth. 

Next up, Marvel is going to talk about Shattered Heroes, its next event.  Ugh. 

Captain America:  Fear Itself (2011) 7.1

Seriously, LET BUCKY STAY DEAD!

Ed Brubaker said when he brought back Bucky that it wasn't just a stunt, and that if he died again, it should be meaningful.  Bucky , as the fill in Captain America, got his arm ripped off and a hole blown into his chest by Sin.  This got Steve Rogers to realize only he could live up to being Captain America.  This issue opens with Cap thinking of his eulogy, only to be interrupted by Nick Fury, who says, guess what?  We brought Bucky back! 
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!  So much for not using "stunts and gimmicks", Brubaker.  Yep, Nick Fury gives Bucky the last remaining Inifinity Formula that has kept Fury young and vital all these years.  Steve doesn't believe Nick at first and proceeds to beat the crap out of him.  Only Bucky appearing gets him to calm down.  I wanted to kill Fury.  Bucky should be dead.  Nuff said.  Anyhow, this is an excuse for Bucky to get his own series as the Winter Soldier (a name I hate, because it has to do with the B.S. charges made by John Kerry and others about war crimes).  Stupid! 

Oh yeah, and even though Thor and Cap are supposed to be around for the Avengers movie, we have a new Thunder God.  His name, as seen in an internal ad and part of this Shattered Heroes garbage, is Tanarus!  OOOOOOH, I want a Tartar Sauce, God of Thunder Figure for my very own!  How exciting....how lame....how "already been done...."  This is what gets me about all these "Marvel Creators and Young Guns".  They aren't doing anything original.....Let's see, just in this arc of Fear Itself/Shattered that goes back to the en of the Siege event:
1.  Replace Cap (been done at least 8 times in the last 3 decades)
2.  Kill off Thor and remove Odin from the picture (gee, let's see, Thor had his body turned to gelatin fighting The Midgard Serpent back in the 80s, he was sent to Hel and had Eric Masterson replace him as Thor, then Thunderstrike, and then Thor and all of Asgard Disappeared in the World Tree/Twilight of the Gods storyline which led us into this latest version of Thor and Asgard in Oklahoma...As for Odin, he has disappeared and reappeared due to family issues it isn't worth exploring.
3. Replace Thor as Thunder God:  Beta Ray Bill, Red Haired Thor, Destroyer Thor, Eric Masterson, Thunderstrike....I mean, at least let Masterson's son, the new Thunderstrike, be the new replacement, as it makes sense and he would be following his dad's footsteps....
4.  Launch a whole bunch of number 1 books that look stupid.  In these two books--X-Club, Avenging Spider-Man (yeah, now he is avenging), Winter Soldier, X Men REgenesis, something called Battle Scars, another relaunch of the Defenders, Villains for Hire, and something called Carnage USA, oh yeah, and then there is the Hulk, which brings me to stupid unoriginal storypoint 5:
5.  Separate green Hulk and Bruce Banner.....yep, they did it again....and they did that back in the 80s and 90s as well.....


So yeah, Marvel is really sucking it up DC style with unoriginal ideas and useless reboots. 

Even though it was cool to see Cap wield Thor's hammer after his shield got destroyed (Again, #6 unoriginal storypoint--destroy then recreate Cap's shield--done at least twice in the last two decades), these two books do little for me.  Although, Butch Guice's pencils and the fetching Bettie Breitweiser's inks are amazing in 7.1.  All that being said and with seeing the new "mighty Marvel Direction" I remain unimpressed....Oh yeah, and what is with adding so many titles when sales are going down?  (unoriginal idea #7--let's repackage the same stuff with new number1's!  That will get sales up!  Woohoo...um...see DC...and already sales are going a bit down from the first week or two...)

New Hope Patriot Missile Rating:
  1.5 out of 5 Shields

I wasted my time putting together the Fear Itself 7 issue series.....
 
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